Why I Quit Being the Demon King Chapter 6

Battle with the Dragon (2)

“Why is there no magic to create clothes in the demon world’s magic?” Deus asked as he donned the magician’s robe, and Alex just shrugged his shoulders. “Why don’t you try creating one, my lord?” “Should I?” “Then automatically, your name will be attached to the magic and be passed down eternally in the demon world.” “Can’t I attach a different name?” “No. Inscribing is like breathing the last breath into the magic.”

Deus seemed to vaguely understand why such trivial spells didn’t exist in the world. A spell for escaping constipation, for instance, would revolutionize human life just as much as a spell to destroy walls. But he didn’t want stories of the holy and grand Constipation Escape method created by the Demon King Demiurgos the 666th to be talked about even after his death.

The treasures the two demons had obtained from the castle were a bag of gold coins and another filled with various smaller gemstones. Since one gold coin equaled a middle-class person’s monthly earnings, having about a hundred would mean they could live without working for a decade. Plus, gemstones held several times the value of the same volume of gold coins, albeit being a little more cumbersome to sell. With two bags of treasure hidden within Alex’s cloak, they wouldn’t have much trouble settling down wherever they went.

The long-distance transport carriage had already left, avoiding the burning castle due to the dragon’s assault. They could have chased after it, but they decided to take a different path. “Let’s just buy a carriage.” “You want to buy a carriage as soon as we have money?” “Is there a problem?” “Not at all.”

Alex immediately visited a carriage shop near the southern gate of the castle. Despite the chaos following the dragon’s attack, his persistent knocking finally brought the shop owner out. With twenty gold coins, Alex acquired a decent cargo carriage. As he was not a noble, he could not purchase a travel carriage, and the purchase of warhorses or high-pedigree steeds was also out of the question. Still, he managed to procure the finest goods within his limits and completed the set.

The carriage, pulled by two horses, had a tent attached to the back. It looked as if they could enjoy a comfortable camp if they added some camping gear. “Don’t you think it’s better to have our own carriage?” Alex, driving from the coachman’s seat, remarked. Deus lay back lazily under the tent, gazing at the scenery. “That other carriage was more comfortable.” “Of course, in the luxurious Tornado carriage.” “Are you going to follow me around forever?” “Yes! As your nanny and home tutor, this Alex will follow you until you change your mind.” “It was dad who ordered this, right?” “That’s part of it, but considering I was your nanny…” “Why were you my nanny?” “Because I am.” “But you’re a man.” “By sex, yes.” “And a nanny?” “My lord is quite something.”

Alex blushed. “Didn’t you cherish those times when you were younger, now acting as if you don’t know?” “Even if you’re crazy, be romantic about it?” “What do you think is the reason for the slight difference in size between the tips of my sixth and seventh tentacles? By the way, my sixth and seventh tentacles are…” “Stop, shut up.” “Understood.” “I said shut up, kid.” “Is your curiosity about why I was a nanny satisfied now?” “All I’ve learned is to not fret over petty matters. Damn, did I really enjoy that?”

Deus cursed and started speaking again. “Anyway, you can’t call a kid a kid, so I’ll give you a role. Since I’m the master, you be the butler.” “A butler… really?” “Any complaints?” “Isn’t it a bit overboard to have a butler just for a single carriage of possessions?” “We have gold.” “That’s true but… well, whatever. If you call me a kid, I’ll be a kid, and if you call me a butler, I’ll be a butler.” “Positive attitude.” “I only obey my master’s orders.” “For someone who talks like that, there’re no truly obedient kids around.” “That’s prejudice.”

The roads of the Horsé continent were well maintained. They were deeply dug, filled with crushed stones, compacted with several layers of soil, and raised above the surroundings. On top, coarse sand was spread to prevent mud even when it rained. This road was used for commerce on ordinary days, and for military purposes during wars with the Demon King’s army. To prepare for the brutal war that occurred every hundred years, the kingdom always paid close attention to the roads. Thanks to the smooth roads, the carriage sped along quite well.

Just when Deus, lying skew in the carriage, was getting tired of sky-gazing. “But my lord,” “Why? Mr. Butler Alex?” “Do you really need to use that abbreviation?” “Would you prefer if I called you a son of a bitch?” “I didn’t mean to that extent.” “Is your loyalty less than a dog’s? Your high-and-mighty loyalty seems shallower than a puddle after rain.” “It might still be deeper than that.” “I’m not interested in loyalty like that, so tell me why you called.” “Why did you really give up being a real king?” “Didn’t I talk about it?” “You were about to say it then stopped.” “Did I?” Deus scratched his head. “Hey, don’t you think the current state of the demon world is strange?” “What are you referring to?” “Why aren’t they attacking the surface now?” “Now?” “Yes, now. Even though I haven’t learned all the techniques of the Demon King, it seems like I could chew up heroes.” “Why would you chew up fruit?” “Stop evading the question.” “You’re certainly powerful, Lord.” “The current heroes are before awakening.” “But that doesn’t necessarily mean their purebloodedness is weak. They might elevate their bloodline over a hundred years and choose the last one… You can’t just assume their purebloodedness is low right now.” “Then the point of having a war every hundred years is meaningless. As soon as a high pureblooded hero appears, they can attack the Demon King’s castle.” “I don’t know their circumstances.” “Doesn’t it feel too contrived?” “That’s the law of the world.” “Did I not just ask if that doesn’t seem strange to you? Why do you keep quibbling?” “I don’t see what’s strange. If you start questioning the laws of the world, why do fires burn upwards? Why does water fall downwards? Why can’t we see the wind even though we can feel it?”

It was a sharp question. “Is that so?” “It’s been decided. It’s the law given by the Absolute.” Deus repeated the word “Absolute” quietly, showing no reverence on his face. Alex, whose face was peeking up, opened his mouth again. “Don’t tell me you left because you hated the laws of nature?” “What are you talking about?” “Or maybe you couldn’t accept being born as a Demon King. Or perhaps you didn’t like that fire was red. Or you set out to find your true destiny given to you.” “Where did that fresh nonsense come from? Have you gone mad? I quit being a Demon King because…”

“Kyaa! Save me!” A woman’s scream came from outside the carriage. Alex immediately jumped down from the carriage. “It seems another bride has appeared. This time, please at least hold her hand. Challenging a 50 percent chance of pregnancy would be even better.” “Doing that might get you sued. Do you know how serious the law on sexual harassment is these days?” Deus got off the carriage slowly, turning his gaze toward the direction from which the scream came. He felt an unusualness about the scene he saw; a beauty was there. One that would definitely require the prefix ‘supreme’ to be fit for her. She was dressed in something similar to a priest’s garments. It wasn’t possible to pin down to a specific faith, but she was wearing a fluttering white robe. And behind her, bandits were chasing her – armed with pickaxes, hammers, and axes. They had a look of brute force with their weapons, and how were their clothes? From leopard skins, deer, bear to wolf pelts – a sight that would have animal lovers foaming with rage – there was no doubt they were bandits. The scenario was somewhat expected with bandits pursuing the beauty… but the problem was the location. This place was a main thoroughfare. It was as though thugs, who belong in dark alleys, were trying to extort money right in front of the royal palace. Bandits and a holy woman in the middle of a wide-open plain? From which mountain could these bandits have come? Deus looked at the permanent snow in the distance. It had to be at least 10 kilometers away. They had come from afar. Surely they hadn’t been chasing her while swinging axes for those 10 kilometers? He did not want to get involved in this suspicious situation. “Butler.” “Yes, my Lord.” “Did you set this up?” “What do you mean?” “The holy woman.” The woman was running frantically towards the carriage. To reiterate, she was an astonishing beauty. Not even in the demon world did one often see women of her caliber. Excluding the unfortunately beautiful succubi, it would be a one in ten million chance to see such beauty among regular demons. “She’s pretty.” “That’s why I’m asking. Are you using that woman to father my child?” “Ha, what do you think of me? Strategy by Alex, Alex by strategy. Would I employ such a clumsy trick?” “You seem overly defensive; something’s fishy.” “It’s not like that. Go and help her; she might get killed by the bandits.” “Even if she fled from a nearby forest, she looks like she’s run about 10 kilometers. She’s not going to suddenly get caught now, is she? Just leave her. If she keeps running, she’ll meet some patrol or something.”

“That’s not what a hero would do.”

“We’re accomplices, not heroes. Heroes are just decoys to sit around.”

“If you’re going to do that, at least don’t become a villain.”

“Then you do it. You can handle a bandit, right? The achievements of a subordinate are the lord’s achievements.”

“I’m allergic to doing good deeds because I’m a demon.”

“I’m a demon too, you know?”

Deus already had one leg up on the carriage. However, not everything went as he intended. It was because of Alex, who threw his hands up and shout toward the bandits. “Over here! We have an aspiring hero here.” “In this freezing July…”

Deus glared at his butler and then lazily got down from the carriage. The beauty hid behind Deus. “Don’t cling.” He shrugged off the woman holding onto his clothes and scanned the bandits before him. “Ah, really.”

The person he was currently facing was none other than Alex. “I need to report this to the Hero Management Department. Lady, please be sure to sign the rescue confirmation document.” Alex, who was carefully explaining this to the woman while holding on to her, was already in Deus’s mind, getting punched in the face for the seventh time. Deus scratched his head and approached the bandits. “One, get hit and go. Two, just leave. Choose.” The bandit leader snorted disdainfully. “Hah, in all my life… An aspiring hero? Aren’t those who play the hero savior in their neighborhoods just wannabes? Kid, get lost before I pull out your shinbone and exchange it for your arm bone.” “Okay, choice number one.”

Deus’s palm slapped the bandit’s cheek. The bandits learned something new that day: humans can spin that fast. Their leader spun dizzily twenty-four times before landing 10 meters away. He twitched, but it was hard to tell if it was because he was alive or due to the convulsions of a dying spasm.

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